What are true friends?

I have quite some free time today, so I'll be doing two blog posts. My first blog post before this one was about being who you are, and now I'll be talking about what I've noticed between true friends that I have, and fake ones.


To start this post off, I have to honestly say that I don't have too many true friends that are actually understanding and know me well. This is partially because I don't bother to become friends with certain people, but the main reasons to this are because I don't fit in with some people, and that others aren't understanding and don't want to know much about me to become friends. Now to compare true friends and fake ones from my experience.

What a true friend is to me


A true friend is someone that is understanding, caring, and wants to know more about you. They will get to know you before you have a chance to get to know them, and they will rarely assume things about you, compared to fake friends.  And they will definitely want to know all about you, meaning that they will constantly get to know you. This requires an open mind, as a true friend needs to be open to ideas about you. A true friend is definitely somebody that you talk a lot to, whether it's about serious topics or random silly topics that nobody else knows about. They are also accepting, meaning that they won't shun you just because they don't like one aspect about you. True friends are also great listeners, meaning that they will always listen to you and your stories and try to help you out if there are any problems. You can trust on a true friend, since they have a good reputation with you. A true friend is caring and will give advice to you, whenever you may seem to need it. But most importantly, true friends will usually be there for you when you are in need of help, or if you are struggling with something. I don't have too many true friends now because after elementary school, there aren't a lot understanding people, or people who don't make assumptions about you, leading to rumors, leading to what a fake friend is.

What a fake friend is to me


A fake friend is somebody that is not understanding about you. They won't understand a lot about you, which constantly leads to inaccurate assumptions that ruin the friendship. They aren't caring either, as they will use "i don't care, or "who cares?" a lot around you. A fake friend is also someone who doesn't know you very well, and doesn't want to know you a lot anyways. This could be because they do not have a very open mind towards you, meaning that you have to practically show every single aspect of yourself to fake friends for them to know you better, otherwise this will lead to assumptions about you once again. You won't talk a lot with somebody that isn't a true friend, and they won't even talk to you a lot either. Fake friends aren't really accepting, so they will start to shun you if they don't like something about you. They also aren't very good at listening and they will ignore you if what you're telling them seems boring to them. A fake friend is not very trustworthy, as they haven't shown it to you during your entire friendship with the person. Don't expect a fake friend to care much about you or give advice, since they won't know you enough to do so. But the worst thing about fake friends is that they usually will not be there for you when you're struggling or you need help.  Right now, quite a few of my friends are just fake friends, since they aren't very open to who I am, even after I show who I am to them.


There's a short video that I found that I think tells the difference between true and fake friends quite well:

Also, I've noticed that the amount of true friends that I had in elementary and middle school were really different. Back then in elementary school, when there were more caring people who wouldn't judge me right away, I had more true friends since the people I knew at that time were a lot more open. But now, it is a bit hard for me to acquire true friends, since now people do not care as much about each other and they tend to judge one another much more quickly. Right now I still have some true friends I can rely on, but not as much as I used to back then. All of this has to do with open-mindedness, as you can see so for yourself in my third blog post.


I also found a link to a website that explains the difference between true and fake friends very well. The grammar here may be a bit of a problem, but you should understand what the person is talking about:
http://dreamer32.hubpages.com/hub/Fake-friends-or-True-friend-knowing-the-difference


I won't be having the "my opinion" section for this post as the previous two paragraphs differentiating what a true and fake friend is already includes enough of my opinion.


Well, that's all the posts I'll be doing for today! Expect some posts out in the next few days. :)


~Vincent

Why are people not being who they are?

Like I said in my third blog post, my next blog post will be about being who you are. I'm sure that all of you have at least heard stuff about being who you are and not what others want you to be, from the media,and even from celebrities. I agree with this, being who you are will make your life easier in the end. It might be hard to be who you are in the beginning, but in the end, it's a lot better than being somebody you're not. I found this out the hard way by trying to be somebody that I was not, and that just lead to disaster. I'm also sure that most of you reading this post will have also tried to be who you aren't before too. So, if a lot of people say "be who you are" and even celebrities encourage it, then how come most of us just aren't being who we truly are anymore?

One of these reasons could be due to influence. People around a person could influence someone to be somebody that they aren't. For example, if someone is a person that cares about school and his grades, he could be influenced by people around him who drink and do drugs. If the person gets influenced enough by this, then who he/she truly is can change, or he is no longer who he/she is. Influence can quickly change parts of who we are, and we need to have the power to say no to that influence, before it controls and takes over us. When that happens, it can be too late to undo that. Once influence changes who you truly are, it can be difficult to undo it and change yourself back to who you were before. Being who you are and standing up for it should be able to easily prevent this, as I have learned that from my experience too.

Another reason that I've noticed with myself and others is fear. If who someone is does not fit in with most of the people around them, then that person could be scared to show who they are since he/she isn't "normal". An open-ended example with this would be a guy who is gay, but doesn't want to show it to others because that wouldn't help him fit in with others and he wouldn't be considered "normal" by most people. It's also possible that people fear what others will think about them when they are being who they truly are. For example, a person could be really smart, but he/she doesn't want to show it to everybody around them since people could start bullying him/her for being a nerd, or geek. There are more reasons to why people don't want to be who they are, but I wanted to talk about these two since these are the main ones that I've noticed with myself and the people around me.

Here are some "be yourself" quotes that I found and would like to share: 
http://www.quotegarden.com/be-self.html

My Opinion

Well, I don't have too much to say about being who you are. But I believe that you should always try to be who you are around people, even if they will think you are weird or strange. You may not fit in with some people, and others might just hate you for who you are. However, in the end, being who you are will make your life easier if you focus on the people who don't hate your true self. If you were to live a life where you were just who somebody wants you to be and not who you truly are and yet you still fit in, that would be harder since being somebody you aren't won't always be easy or make you happy. But now, quite some people are starting to hide who they are and they are just being who the people around them are. Don't do this. This will make your life harder, as I know from previous experiences. Don't let the people around you control what kind of person you are. Instead, you need to stand up for who you are and not let others take that away from you.

Well, this is all I have to say. My next blog post will be out later today! :)

~Vincent

Open-mindedness in teenagers today

Well, I was going to do my third blog post yesterday, but I actually wasn't feeling too well yesterday. But now that I have some time now, I'll be starting my third blog post today, and like I said on my previous post, it's going to be about the way I've noticed how open teens are to new ideas...

Which group of teens here do you think is more likely to be open minded and not judge and assume things about others? Leave your answer in the comments below :)

Once I went to middle school, it feels a lot more different than elementary school not just with the school, but especially with the people. Today, I'll be talking about open-mindedness between teenagers, and what I have noticed/experienced.

During my grade 7 year which was my first year of middle school, it started off alright. But as the year went by, I found out that pretty much half of my class was backstabbing me, and I didn't really know why. It wasn't until during my next year that I found out it was all because my class was the complete opposite of "open-minded." Just because I was smart, pretty much my whole class was assuming that I was a "nerd", or "geek" at school, and after they assumed that, pretty much nobody in that class got to know me anymore. There was barely anybody in that class that was open to new ideas, and all that class pretty much did was judge me and assume things about me from how little they know about me. Some people were even like, "Oh, I already know enough about you. What else is there to know?" This class has got to be the the worst class that I have ever had in my whole life, and all of this relates back to open-mindedness. This class was the complete opposite of open-minded, and it didn't just happen to me. Pretty much everybody in my class was judged upon one another from what people know about them. From my observations, I have noticed that teens now a days are typically not open-minded, and they will assume a lot of things about you.


This was not the case in elementary school. Back then in elementary school, I didn't have to show who I was to people. Instead, they would just get to know me, and they wouldn't assume things about you from how little they actually know about you. Now around teens, I realized that if I don't show who I actually am to people at my school right away, most of them will start assuming things about you from how little they know. In my case in grade 7, people started judging me for what they thought I was, which lead to rumors and became really annoying. I just can't believe that in those few years of difference from elementary school to middle school, the way people think can change a lot more than you think.

I found a really unique video about open-mindedness in general (not just teens), and this really changed my perspective towards open-mindedness. It is a bit long, but it's definitely worth the time:

My Opinion:


To be honest, I think that once teenagers are influenced by others, their amount of open-mindedness changes because of quite a few factors. This is really annoying to me, since after I was judged on who I am during my first year in middle school, I noticed that I was influenced by this too and I wasn't as open-minded as I used to be. Although I haven't heard a lot about teenagers back then, I think that they would still be more open-minded as they would talk a lot more back then, and there also wasn't too much stuff to influence them into judging and assuming things about others. But now, with technology and a new generation, so many things can change the way a teen thinks about certain things which affects how open they are to stuff. For example, teens can be influenced by their friends from peer-pressures and social pressures, and with a huge advance in technology, teens can influence others by texting, social networks, and more.

I personally do not like where this is going. I would rather have a simpler life with teenagers around me being more open to things even if it means having less technology, than to have the life right now, where teenagers aren't open to things because of many pressures. If this is what happens in our generation with teenagers now, who knows what will happen in future generations? Do you think that in the future, teens will become even more judgmental and be open to even less ideas, or do you think that they could be open-minded the way teens were back in the 1900's? Answer this question in the poll for my third blog post, on the right sidebar.

There's also an interesting website that I found about why teenagers might not be as open-minded as they were when they were younger, so I thought that I'd share it:

http://www.thoughtsfromatherapist.com/2010/03/10/talking-with-teens%E2%80%93-try-using-authentic-open-minded-empathetic-curiosity/


My next topic will be about being yourself and I'll be talking about why people these days just don't be who they are as much anymore.


~Vincent

Self-Expression

Well, I planned to do a new blog post in a few days, but since I have some extra time today, I'm going to do my second blog post right now.


So, my second post will be about self expression, and how people these days just don't truly express what they feel like anymore. Now, some of you may be wondering what I mean by "true self expression." Well, to me, true self expression is expressing how you really feel, and not caring what others think about this. But why is it that a lot of people don't express how they truly feel now-a-days?

To start my second blog post, I'll be doing it with this picture. I found this strange picture when I searched "self expression", and it made me think about the difference between self-expression and rebelling. When you take a look at this picture, do you think that is is actually self expression, or similar to acts of rebelling? Vote in the poll for this post, on the top of the right sidebar! :)

Now I'll be talking about self-expression quite a bit, and I'll be starting with reasons why people don't express how they truly feel. I think that one reason people don't express how they truly feel is because they are simply afraid. People fear that others will think differently about them once they express how they feel like, as what they do to express themselves can be weird, awkward, strange, or just different than what they usually do. Generally, when people do something to express themselves that doesn't seem to be "normal" about the person, they'll start thinking and wondering if something is not alright with the person.


I also think that it's because people just won't care about it, so people say "why bother to express myself if people won't care?" Now, in our society, people aren't as caring as they were before, especially once they begin to grow up. People start being more self-centered and stop caring as much about others when they hit their teen years, and yes it is true that a lot of people aren't gonna care about you expressing your emotions. But should the fact that people don't care stop you from expressing how you feel? (I'll be explaining the way teenagers act according to my perspective in a future blog post that will be coming soon.)


I'm also going to be giving one more reason on this, and then my opinion about this. The third reason is that it is possible that it might not seem right to talk about a certain topic, even if it relates to how you feel and you just want to express yourself. An example of this would be private stuff that only you know about, and that not many people should know about this (e.g. you shouldn't be randomly talking about your family problems to random people or your religion). It wouldn't seem right to talk about these things to certain people, as it just doesn't fit into our society. But that doesn't mean you can't talk about it. It just means you have to find the right people to talk about it with. For example, instead of telling your friends about family problems that they could care less about, you should probably find an adult that could help, such as a guidance counselor. You can definitely express how you truly feel, but you should do it with the right people so that you don't express yourself for nothing in the end.


Now, I think that the picture shown at the beginning of this blog post isn't necessarily self expression, since there are other ways to express yourself than what was shown, such as by art:

My Opinion:
My honest opinion on this is going to be a bit long, but first of all, you shouldn't be afraid to express how you truly feel if it isn't something that is a big deal or can cause a lot of problems. If you are afraid to tell others how you truly feel and you just hide it in yourself, then you'll find in the future that you will be doing this a lot more often, possibly causing depression to you as you'll possibly feel like there is nobody that you can talk to about how you feel.


Second, people may not care about how you feel right now, but should that stop you from expressing yourself? No, it shouldn't. Just because there are some selfish people out there who could care less about what you think doesn't mean that you shouldn't let them stop you. Think about the considerate and caring people out there instead. They will be able to help you and make you feel better if you aren't feeling too happy. So, why bother to express yourself if people won't care? Well, you should feel better once you do, and you never know if there is a person/people out there that have the same problem as you, or if they're willing to help you out.


Third, it can be kind of awkward to talk about private things with other people that they don't want to know about. If you have this kind of problem or issue, I would recommend finding someone you can trust, such as a parent or a teacher, and talk about this with them. You will still express how you feel, but you will just put it to better use if you talk about it with a trusted adult.


Overall, you shouldn't be afraid to express yourself, and you shouldn't stop yourself from self expressing yourself if people don't care. Try to express how you truly feel as much as you can, but don't overdo it to the point where it isn't even self expression anymore. And if you have a larger issue you need to talk about, find someone you can trust, to avoid disaster while talking to your friends about it.


Here is an interesting website that I found. Throughout the website, it talks about self expression and it relates it to nature. You might want to take a look at it, at http://www.desert-alchemy.com/txt/self-expression.html.


Well, my next blog post will be about teenagers and your childhood, and what happens once you become a teen after your early childhood. It should be out in a day or two, but until then, see you later.


~Vincent

Is "the truth" really the best policy?

Hi, I'm Vincent, and my blog is going to pretty much be about the ways that people think and act these days, and I'll also be giving my opinion on these topics. Sometimes, I'll also be comparing two different topics, such as the one I'm about do do now. And that topic is whether the truth is better, no matter how mean it is, or whether being "nice" and hiding the truth is.

So, first of all, I'm pretty sure that  most of us have heard from our parents, teachers, and generally people around us that the truth is always better than lying. And this is shown a lot in everyday scenarios too, such as telling the truth about your opinion on something. If you were to be completely honest, no matter what the outcome is, then you won't have anything to hide and you won't have to live a lie. But if you were to lie, then you would worry about what would happen next, hoping that an unexpected outcome doesn't occur. However, it is also possible that the truth can be harsh at some times, and that it can hurt people's emotions and feelings. At this point, people try to be nice and hide the truth, but is that really better than telling the truth?I agree that the truth is a really good thing, and telling it instead of a lie will make your life easier, but is it really better than "being nice" and hiding the truth?

Now, being nice is also something that yet again, parents, teachers, and  people around us also say. Being nice is something that a lot of us are able to do, and most of us like nice people to be our friends. But is it possible that we're "too nice", and that we end up lying to someone so we don't hurt their feelings? Yes, it is possible, and this pretty much happens every day, whether you may be aware of it or not. It can be as easy as saying "good job" to someone when they aren't even trying, or as hard as explaining why you like a book just to be nice to the author, but you hate it. And being nice sometimes also hides the truth too, just like for the two examples that I gave you, it was nice to say "good job" and say positive things about a book, but saying those positive things really hide your true opinion and stop you from what you really want to say. Being nice is definitely a good thing, but you shouldn't let it take over to you to the point where the truth doesn't come first.

My Opinion:
To be honest, I would say that the truth is more important than being nice, especially when you are asked for the truth, or rather your opinion. The truth may hurt, but it can be better to know the truth at times than to have it hidden from you when you should know it, no matter how mean it is. Hiding the truth sometimes will make your life harder, since you are keeping the truth inside of yourself when the truth should be revealed, and if the people that you're hiding the truth from find out about it when you didn't tell it to them, it can hurt you even more. But just because the truth is more important than being nice doesn't mean that you shouldn't be nice at all. Being nice is still important, and if the truth that you're going to say is harsh or mean, you should try to make it sound as nice as possible. If the truth is a nice thing that is a compliment, then obviously you don't need to make it sound any nicer. But if the truth that you have to reveal can't be made into something nice easily, then saying the mean and harsh truth, no matter how hurtful it is, should be the right thing to do. Overall, the truth and honesty should come before being nice to others, as experiences with this will tell you, just like me.


Here is an opinion of someone's thoughts on how being a good person is not enough, and how you should always speak the truth. The video/opinion also relates this to Christianity, and I found this video/opinion quite interesting, since I do not know a lot about what the truth and being nice has to do with Christianity.